Heavy tear drops fall and splatter on my blanket covered lap, as I sit with my legs curled under me in the cowhide covered recliner in our living room and watch my husband play and laugh and kiss our beautiful son. Westin screams excitedly while Justin rubs his ears and jumps and growls at Wes again until he collapses in a heap of giggles and flailing limbs. These moments make me so warm, realizing that all it takes to make my eyes sparkle with happiness is a few moments of nonsense.
About this time 3 years ago, I was sitting in the same chair crying heavy and unhappy teardrops and letting them fall untouched onto my legs. We had been trying for and waiting on our miracle to come into our lives. Valentines Day 2008 was a rough one as I once again faced a single line on the home pregnancy test I held in a trembling hand. We thought we'd never be parents...
And now, here we are; proud Mommy and Daddy to a blue-eyed, blonde headed, baseball loving B-O-Y. He hugs our necks tight, and freely gives kisses, and loves his family and his "Doddies" (dogs) and tells our shephard Bo "No! No!" when she smothers him in slobbery doggie licks. He looks just like his Momma when he pouts; his underbite making his bottom lip pucker when he juts it out to show us he's unhappy. He signs for "more" putting his fingertips together and eyeing whatever it is that he wants (usually Candy!) He rubs his open palms down his chest and exclaimes "Baa!" when its time for his bath, and rubbing his palms together while saying "wash aww" means "wash off" -- that he wants to wash his hands.
In preparation for parenthood, one might purchase a crib, scrub baseboards, search for a sensible 'family car' and give up that nasty 'cancer stick' habit -- or read every parenting book available to be certain that there will be nothing that will leave you with that 'deer in headlights; CRAP what do I do now?' situation. What you can't prepare for is the way that one tiny squawk can make you cry huge raindrop tears; how feeding your baby will make you feel proud; how overwhelming one diaper change can be; how beautiful the sun looks on a peach fuzz covered head; how you really don't even miss a daily shower... how big your heart can grow. And the Love, oh the love; how it seems to radiate from the soles of your feet to the tips of the strands of your hair; how it fills you up and swallows you whole; how immediately it takes over after a wiggly, warm cocoon of a brand new baby is placed in your arms after one of the most amazing experiences of your life.
Drink it up, savor every second -- and be ready for that Love to grow and change and amaze and occupy every thought you'll ever have for the rest of your life....
Happy Wednesday!
