Reasons Why...

I've often said that the reason I found the strength to force myself out of the most unhealthy of relationships I've ever had exists in my husband's eyes. He was able to see the butterfly through the damaged cocoon of fear and regret. It is because of him that I am happy and healthy today, so here it is, a list of reasons (we'll see how far I get) why I absolutely love that man.

1. He helped me to achieve my life's biggest goal: Motherhood.
2. He has the strongest stomach ever, absolutely nothing makes him cringe.
3. He can lift me sleeping from the couch and carry me to bed.
4. He rarely argues when I pick dinner - even if its something we've eaten 3x in two weeks :)
5. I can come to him with a problem/idea and he's open minded enough to at least hear me out.
6. He knows almost ALL Wiggles songs by heart.
7. He'll climb on any playground with our son to show him its safe for climbing.
8. He knows how to separate darks from lights & whites!
9. He calls me everyday on his way home from work to see if I need anything that he can grab on his way.
10. He looks damn fine in a backwards turned Rangers baseball cap.
11. He tolerates my eclectic music tastes. Somedays its Metallica; others its Opera.
12. He huffs and shakes his head when I click off the car radio because "that station plays way too many stupid commercials!"
13. He can twist me like a pretzel so that I can make my back pop.... aaahhhh.
14. He is so super sweet when he's rocking Wessie before bed.
15. During his morning routine while getting ready for work, he uses the light from his cell phone to gather his socks, undies & such so that he doesn't wake me up.
16. He brings me 'just because' roses.
17. He'll eat my concotions, and smile while doing so, telling me, "No, I think its good..."
18. He takes turns getting up with the baby on the weekends with me, so we each get one day to sleep in :)
19. He keeps all the little love notes that I tuck into his lunchbox.
20. He will sit through countless reruns of Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse; and is taking me to see Breaking Dawn pt.1 when it comes out this November!
21. He put up with my crazy self through all the years I was taking fertility drugs & hormones!
22. He used to be painfully shy when we first started dating (8 years ago!)
23. He is ever patient with my constantly growing brood of nephews & nieces -- and proudly wears the "Uncle Scustin" badge...
24. When the man dreams, he dreams BIG.
25. He knows how to use the weed eater.
26. He isn't skerred by creepy crawlies.
27. He has a major soft spot for animals of all kinds.
28. When I get obsessed with reading a new book - to the point where I hole up in the bedroom immediately after putting Westin to bed and leave him alone in the living room to watch TV - he comes to bed, kisses my  head, rolls over and pulls the covers up to his chin, all while laughing to himself.
29. He can take one look at me and know when to suggest that I go climb into a hot bath for an hour and relax.
30. He loves my randomness.
31. He never complains when I volunteer him to help with heavy lifting for a relative or friend.
32. He acts like a 5 year old kid when it comes to buying Hot Wheels cars for our son, "But he needs ALL of these!!!"
33. He's loved me through red, brown and blonde; skinny, average and plump (and preggo); made-up and dressed up to dressed down and bare faced.
34. When I want to start a project, even though he's fully aware that I'll probably only give it about 5 minutes worth of undivided attention, he's still excited for me.
35. If I'm sick, nothing I could ever ask for would be too trouble for him :)
36. He'll grocery shop with me.
37. He has no qualms about entering, shopping in and leaving Victoria's Secret carrying a bright fuschia striped shopping bag!

L o V E.

Heavy tear drops fall and splatter on my blanket covered lap, as I sit with my legs curled under me in the cowhide covered recliner in our living room and watch my husband play and laugh and kiss our beautiful son. Westin screams excitedly while Justin rubs his ears and jumps and growls at Wes again until he collapses in a heap of giggles and flailing limbs. These moments make me so warm, realizing that all it takes to make my eyes sparkle with happiness is a few moments of nonsense.

About this time 3 years ago, I was sitting in the same chair crying heavy and unhappy teardrops and letting them fall untouched onto my legs. We had been trying for and waiting on our miracle to come into our lives. Valentines Day 2008 was a rough one as I once again faced a single line on the home pregnancy test I held in a trembling hand. We thought we'd never be parents...

And now, here we are; proud Mommy and Daddy to a blue-eyed, blonde headed, baseball loving B-O-Y. He hugs our necks tight, and freely gives kisses, and loves his family and his "Doddies" (dogs) and tells our shephard Bo "No! No!" when she smothers him in slobbery doggie licks. He looks just like his Momma when he pouts; his underbite making his bottom lip pucker when he juts it out to show us he's unhappy. He signs for "more" putting his fingertips together and eyeing whatever it is that he wants (usually Candy!)  He rubs his open palms down his chest and exclaimes "Baa!" when its time for his bath, and rubbing his palms together while saying "wash aww" means "wash off" -- that he wants to wash his hands.

In preparation for parenthood, one might purchase a crib, scrub baseboards, search for a sensible 'family car' and give up that nasty 'cancer stick' habit -- or read every parenting book available to be certain that there will be nothing that will leave you with that 'deer in headlights; CRAP what do I do now?' situation. What you can't prepare for is the way that one tiny squawk can make you cry huge raindrop tears; how feeding your baby will make you feel proud; how overwhelming one diaper change can be; how beautiful the sun looks on a peach fuzz covered head; how you really don't even miss a daily shower... how big your heart can grow. And the Love, oh the love; how it seems to radiate from the soles of your feet to the tips of the strands of your hair; how it fills you up and swallows you whole; how immediately it takes over after a wiggly, warm cocoon of a brand new baby is placed in your arms after one of the most amazing experiences of your life.

Drink it up, savor every second -- and be ready for that Love to grow and change and amaze and occupy every thought you'll ever have for the rest of your life....

Happy Wednesday!

What would we do without our Sisters?

Sisters are good for lots of things. Here, let me list a few:

1. Stealing your favorite shirt/sweater/tube of lipstick and wearing/staining/using it all up before you've gotten the chance to do so.

2. Finding a pillow case long enough to stuff your 3 year old body into and tying a knot in the end, so you can't escape.

3. Telling you the monster in the closet will come out and bite you if you don't, "shut up and go to sleep."

4. Making you giggle so much you really do wet yourself.

5. Jumping out from around a corner, screaming and scaring the pee out of you, thus making you wet yourself, again.

6. Giving you a make-over on a Saturday night, cause they're bored.

7. Helping you with your homework.

8. Driving you around in their car, so you're the 'cool' middle schooler with the 'awesome' older high school sibling that can DRIVE!

9. Sharing their babies with you, and teaching you all of the wonderful, and sometimes not-so-wonderful things about being a Mother.

10. Telling you that those pants really do make your butt look smaller.

11. Coming to your house in the middle of the night with her husband (because your husband is gone on a work call) to help you dig a hole in the frozen ground to bury your puppy that passed away.

12. Confiding in you their secretest of secrets, and keeping yours.

13. Knowing when not to keep some of your secrets...

14. Caring enough to tell you the guy you're dating is a loser, and that her boyfriend will kick your boyfriends butt the next time they meet.

15. Coming to your rescue when another sister plays mean tricks on you.

16. Slapping you, pulling your hair, knocking you down, punching you in the gut; then helping you up, straightening your hair and saying, "You know I love you, but you're really pissing me off right now!"

17. Calling you when they see a car wreck on the road/scary story on the news/bad weather report to make sure you're safe.

18. Making  you wake up really early in the morning to play "school"

19. Teaching you how to shave your legs.

20. Being the kind of person you want to be 'when you grow up.'

Wishing Upon a Hero...

Wish Upon a Hero is a website dedicated to granting wishes. Founder Dave Girgenti wanted to create an online community that offered a place for people to help others after the attacks on Sept. 11 and Hurricane Katrina, working under the mantra of “No wish too large and no hero too small.”

"Wish Upon A Hero is completely free to its users, allowing everyone who registers the opportunity to cast up to three wishes at a time. Because Wish Upon A Hero is designed to help everyone, wishes can be big or small, elaborate or simple, based on financial need or just asking for a simple favor." ~ WUAH website.

The website was suggested to me from a friend who has used it many times; to grant wishes, and also to cast a few of her own. I love that there - a stranger can help a stranger, and can remain anonymous if they wish. People that have never met, and probably never will are doing things, big and small to help in any way they can...

I thought about the spirit of giving as I dropped off some clothes, a few toys and a couple of housewares at a donation site this afternoon. My son sat strapped into his carseat, watching me through the window as I heaved the heavy bag out of my trunk and over to the donation box. He laughed and waved to me and I made a silly face and waved back. I realized at that moment that I was giving more than just items to a family that needed them, I was giving the gift of giving to my son and to myself. Sure, he might be a little young to understand the concept this time, and thats ok. He'll definitely grow older... And I so look forward to the many more holidays I get to spend showing him that Christmas isn't just about how many presents are wrapped under the tree, but how giving can be a present in itself.

Who knows who he'll be a Hero to someday :)

Day 10: Down Right Beautiful!

Once in my younger years, a stranger in passing whispered to the woman she was walking with, "I wonder if that girl has some kind of genetic thing?" I immediately knew they were referring to the unusual way my nose is shaped, with the nonexistent bridge between my eyes, so it makes a curved "scoop" down to the bulbous tip... I remember having a heavy heart about that off-handed comment that I wasn't supposed to overhear or even understand for quite some time. My nose was a very tender subject for me; one that I was teased about at home and at school. Though I knew my family meant well and the "teasing" was more of a way to try to make me feel better about myself, my school-mates didn't shrare their affection. Their taunts and remarks were more of the brutal kind. And many a well-meaning parent looked at me through squinty eyes before realizing that they had been staring, only to shrug it off and go about their business.




a young Emily with her 'Papa'


I hit a turning point in junior high when, after a heart to heart with one of my still close girlfriends, I realized that my nose - was just a nose. I could let it bother me the rest of my life, or I could embrace it. I started to notice all of the ways that I stood out from those around me, and the differences made me... happy. Almost proud. If I wasn't going to "fit in" I planned on "sticking out" to the best of my ability. I was unique; no one else had a nose that looked like mine. Thats when the closeted extrovert in me got to crack open the door a little. I made some new friends, I joined a few clubs. It all seemed pretty easy then, once I learned that being liked meant I had to like myself first. Thats not to say that I wasn't still met with those who were uncomfortable with my strange appearance. And I still heard some hurtful things that would set me back a little. But there was no turning back now. I liked the way it felt to accept myself, even if some others out right refused to agree.

In high school I joined the dance team, where the Angel that was our dance instructor encouraged us to reach out, volunteer, get outside of our comfort bubbles. I took the challenge with an eager heart. We took trips to the Union Gospel Mission to visit the children, and community service was a requirement of being a member of the team. My junior year I volunteered to help with a project with the Discovery class of special needs students. I walked into a classroom that was full of excited, smiling, exuberant students. They all greeted me with an enthusiastic "Nice to meet you!" and I made about 8 immediate friends! After the project was completed, I visited with my new pals as often as possible. I would stop by their classroom to see what new things they were learning, and some would call to me down the hallway to wish me a good afternoon.

Once in a group conversation at lunch I was asked why I "got involved with those other kids". My response was "Why not?" The asker of the question was known for being a particularly 'loud mouthed' student, of whom I had made some attempts to befriend. Their constant negativity brought me down, and so I intentionally limited our interactions. Those other kids were my friends, what did it matter to why I got 'involved'? This person, I quickly assumed, was another of those that wasn't comfortable with the different or unique. And then it dawned on me, perhaps this nay-sayer was an old me. Maybe there was something they hadn't come to accept about themselves. My visions of this person being hateful were turned into seeing that they just needed to learn to love themselves. Then they might be able to love even the other kids. After that point I quit trying to avoid them, to trying to at least make peace with them. If only to show that I was different, and I accepted that fact, and that it was all going to be ok. When we graduated, we were still just acquintances. We hadn't become bosom buddies, but I had hopes that maybe I helped them in some small way.

Since those days, I've been blessed to make some awesome new friends. My husband and I had no idea when we bought our house after we were married, that we had hit the neighbor jackpot!! Little did we know that just across the street were 4 souls waiting to touch our lives. (and a few years after we moved in, a 5th little soul tip-toed her way into our hearts) The 'K' crew, as we so affectionately refer to them, have taught us so much about acceptance, life and more in the 5 short years we've come to know - and love - them. We've shared triumphs, as well as hopes and fears and dreams. And laughs. Oh, so many great laughs.



Kare-Bear, Koltie and K-Mo



Down Right Beautiful!

 Those beautiful babies' Mommy blogs over at Welcome to my world... where she shares her darling son's prayer and the wonderful workings of his amazing heart.

The National Down Syndrome Society's website offers this: "[The NDSS] envisions a world in which all people with Down Syndrome have the opportunity to enhance their quality of life, realize their life aspirations, and become valued members of welcoming communities."

That precious angel of a child, as well as his whole family has taught me to realize some of my life's aspirations. They have most definitely enhanced my quality of life and have made my husband, son and myself feel like valued members of our little, close knit community of neighboring houses. We were blessed beyond belief to have been given the opportunity to be a part of their lives, as they are a part of ours.

I so look forward to more Beautiful moments with the best neighbors that anyone could ever ask for!

Locks of Love

I've cut it short, I've dyed it red, brown and blonde. I've teased it, straightened it. I've pinned it, curled it, burned it (oops), highlighted it, pulled it and let it be. My hair has been through quite a bit in my 26 years on earth. But its always grown back, on my head and some other places of my body I wish it wouldn't... But if its one thing this life has taught me (with some very trying lessons) its not to take anything for granted. There are some children who would give all they could just to have a head-full of "normal" hair. Children who have been through far worse than 'a bad hair day'. Children who want to go outside and play with their friends, and not be stared at and labeled "different".

Locks of Love is organization that provides self confidence to those children that find themselves facing adversity in a dark time in their lives... "Locks of Love is a public non-profit organization that provides hairpieces to financially disadvantaged children in the United States and Canada [under age 21] suffering from long-term medical hair loss from any diagnosis. We meet a unique need for children by using donated hair to create the highest quality hair prosthetics. Most of the children helped by Locks of Love have lost their hair due to a medical condition called alopecia areata, which has no known cause or cure. The prostheses we provide help to restore their self-esteem and their confidence, enabling them to face the world and their peers."

The website states that *anyone* can donate hair. There are a few guidelines, the biggest one being that bleached hair (aka highlighted) is unacceptable, as it reacts with the chemicals that they use to treat the donated hair. Hair is used from men and women, young and old, all colors and races.

The next time you go to have your coif did, why not consider donating it to a child that could use a little boost? Maybe cut it a little shorter than you originally considered. The minimum length is 10 inches, tip to tip. How great would it be to encourage your daughter that can grow hair overnight to donate her ponytail to a boy or girl that can't grow it themselves? Was something ever done for you that was really wonderful? Is it time to 'pay it forward'? :)

Dizzy spells, sleep and fun with ICE

Plainly put: this weekend left absolutely zero time for blogging. Friday night I was hit with a crazy dizzy spell that could have taken down an elephant. I took some phenergan for the nausea and completely crashed at 900. I had high hopes of staying up until midnight and going with my awesome neighbors to the local WalMart to pick up my copy of the "Eclipse" DVD (yes, I'm a 'Twilight Mom'). No such luck. I didn't move from my position of laying sideways across the bed until 430 a.m. when I woke up, changed into some pajamas (I was still in my day clothes) unwound the covers and went back to sleep. Turns out, my loving and adorable husband went to said store at "uh, probably 1230 or 1 a.m." to purchase my movie. It was waiting for me on our lamp table when I woke with our son at 8 a.m. Saturday morning.

And most of Saturday was spent trying to sleep off the effects of the anti-nausea medicine I had taken the night before. Wes and I cuddled in the recliner reading books (still in our pjs) or layed on the floor playing blocks. The entire house (dogs included) napped from about 12 to 2 p.m. We didn't dress for the day until about 4 when we went out to get some sunshine, and grab a (light) bite to eat.

Sunday (after a night of very restful sleep), we woke rejuvinated and were treated to the awesomeness that is the Gaylord Hotel's ICE exhibit. The theme this year was "A Charlie Brown Christmas" -- a very, very cold tent (approx. 12 to 17 degrees F) filled to the max with ice sculptures depicting Charles Schulz's imagination at its best.

We had such a great time. We took the scenic route home, and even stopped off at Big Daddy's favorite Camping/Hunting Outfitters store to let Wes see the big "Pishies!" (fish)

All in all, an entire weekend spent with my small family of 3 and an outing with our large family of 14 (minus a sister and her hubby) makes for a happy and grateful mama.

P.S. While I didn't post about any 'service' this weekend -- I did go through my clothes and have quite a hefty bag ready for donation! :)

P.P.S. I am also doing (most) 'service' posts on my personal FB acct. Friday's was Friends of Wednesday's Child ~ "Friends of Wednesday's Child steps in to help make [a foster child's] new life in foster care joyful and to ensure that their needs are met. Friends of Wednesday's Child is the only organization that provides funds to fulfill the specific needs of North Texas foster children when no one else can or will so they are able to have as normal a childhood as possible." and today (Monday's) is Susan G. Komen for the Cure

P.P.P.S. Watch for tomorrow's post on Locks of Love!